stealing from yourself

another manky day at work. and why? oh, that old thing about feeling that you haven't done everything you should have done, and feeling that what you did do wasn't up to the quality that you'd want it to be.

leaving aside my usual self-scouring perfectionist schtick, i realise that i brought this on myself: at this time of my workplace's month, everyone is in a frenzy to complete their submissions to the body that decides which projects are goers, and which are duds. and everybody leaves it to the last minute, of course. which is fine, so long as you've gathered all your evidence and just need to assemble it (which was the case with me...i'm such a goodie-goodie). but...i had a cascade of people asking me for estimates/process maps of how my team would get their projects done, and i neglected my own work so that i could satisfy these peoples' need for information. which meant that i reached 12 o'clock today with shit-loads still to do, and no fecking hope of doing it all. frustrating: i can never say 'sorry, fuck off, i've got my own problems to solve'.

fucking messiah complex.

fuck, i'm in a bad mood. can you tell?