academic itch

I seem to have found myself looking at lots of academics' blogs lately. Some of them are mostly abstruse and difficult, some of them are rigorous and polemical, and some of them are extremely technically sophisticated. They're all stimulating, and they make me feel a bit dim (because of their energy, language, and focus on ideas).

I really loved my time at college as a mature student. I was also very good at the work. I started doing an M.Sc., with a view to doing a Ph. D., and then working as an academic. But I ran out of money, got depressed, and quit. That's the thing I'm most regretful about in my whole life, I think. When I look at these people's words, and think about their minds, and about how much I enjoy the world of thought, abstraction, reflection and writing, it makes me feel a bit melancholic.

I'll have a beer and wallow in that gentle melancholia for a while.